Testimonies

I was thirteen years old when I first began questioning God. It all started with a plate of halva.

My grandfather had insisted that I fast during Ramadan. One afternoon, exhausted and hungry, I discovered several plates of freshly prepared halva hidden behind a curtain in our home. The smell was irresistible. After struggling with my conscience, I took a plate downstairs and ate it.

It was probably the most delicious halva I had ever tasted.

But the sweetness quickly turned into fear. Since childhood, I had heard frightening stories about what happened to those who disobeyed God. I was told that fire might fall from heaven or that someone might be transformed into an animal as punishment.

I was terrified.

When my family called me for the evening meal, I was afraid to leave the room. I even cautiously extended my hand outside, wondering whether divine punishment would strike it first.

But nothing happened.

That evening, something changed inside me. For the first time, I began seriously questioning what I had been taught about God.

From Fear to Doubt

As I grew older, my questions multiplied. Why should God be feared? Why would a loving Creator punish people so harshly? Was everything I had been taught really true?

I began reading about religion, philosophy, and different worldviews. I searched for answers wherever I could find them, even when books and information were difficult to access.

Eventually, I rejected belief in God altogether.

I became outspoken about my views, often challenging religious traditions and criticizing the beliefs of others. I thought I had found freedom, but my attitude gradually affected my relationships and the people around me.

Years passed. After getting married, my wife and I faced difficult circumstances that forced us to leave Afghanistan. We moved first to Iran and later to Turkey.

During those years, my priorities began to change. I wanted to help others, encourage people, and treat everyone with dignity, regardless of their background or beliefs.

I did not realize that one simple act of kindness would eventually lead me toward Jesus Christ.

An Unexpected Gift

While living in Turkey, I occasionally worked as an interpreter for the local police department.

One afternoon, I received a call asking me to help a family with urgent paperwork. They had a flight to Istanbul later that day, and without assistance, they risked missing it.

The journey was inconvenient, and heavy rain began pouring before I reached the office. I was completely soaked. Several times, I considered turning back, but I continued because I wanted to help.

About two weeks later, the man I had assisted called to thank me. He insisted on giving me a gift.

When I opened the carefully wrapped package at home, I discovered a small Bible.

I was not particularly interested. I had heard enough religious teachings in my life, or so I thought. I placed the book aside.

Occasionally, I tried reading it, but I never got beyond the genealogy at the beginning of Matthew's Gospel.

Then one day, I picked it up again.

This time, I continued reading.

When I reached Matthew chapter five and the Sermon on the Mount, something remarkable happened.

The teachings of Jesus about anger, forgiveness, relationships, and revenge deeply challenged me.

I remember thinking, "Surely these words must have been written by modern philosophers or social thinkers."

I struggled to believe that someone had spoken with such wisdom nearly two thousand years earlier.

For the first time, I was not simply reading about religion. I was encountering the words of Jesus Christ.

Finding the God I Had Been Searching For

That small Bible became the beginning of a much longer spiritual journey.

Over time, I came to faith in Jesus Christ. But my journey was not straightforward. There were struggles, mistakes, pride, and moments when I even denied Him.

Yet when I reached a point in life where I felt I had nothing left to lose, I found my hope and salvation again in the very One I had denied.

Looking back, I see how Jesus was present through the most difficult chapters of my life. Slowly, He began healing wounds I had carried for years.

I no longer felt that I needed to fight everyone, prove myself, or earn acceptance through good deeds. The fear that had followed me for so long gradually lost its hold on me.

Today, I live in a relationship with God.

That does not mean I never make mistakes. I still fail, sometimes more often than I would like to admit. But something fundamental has changed.

I no longer run away from God when I fail. Instead, I come before my Heavenly Father, confess my mistakes, repent, and ask Him to help me grow.

The God I once imagined waiting to punish a frightened thirteen-year-old boy for eating a plate of halva is now the loving Father I can approach with all my weaknesses and imperfections.

What a journey it has been.

From fear to questions. From questions to unbelief. From unbelief to searching. And finally, to knowing the living God through Jesus Christ.

And it all began with the sweet aroma of a plate of halva.